Most psychopaths aren't Hannibal Lecters, but they can
be almost as destructive. There might be one in your workplace;
you might even be dating one. Know the warning signs.
Psychopaths live largely undetected among us, and if you are
unfortunate enough to get entangled with one the results of their
ruthlessness and manipulation can be devastating.
You can't tell just by looking at them. Psychopathic serial killer
Ted Bundy was handsome, clean-cut and charismatic, and used
these attributes to lure at least 30 women to their deaths. What is a psychopath?
A psychopath is not simply a nasty person, and, although
Hollywood portrayals have promoted this perception, not all
psychopaths are criminals. The following definition is from
internationally renowned psychopathy researcher Robert Hare:
"A social predator who often charms and manipulates his or her
way through life. Psychopaths are completely lacking in
conscience and in feelings for others; they take what they want
and do as they please without the slightest sense of guilt or
regret."
These are the main characteristics to be on the lookout for:
Callous lack of empathy
Probably the most significant characteristic of all, lack of
empathy means that psychopaths are unable to understand and
identify with the feelings of others. There is a cold lack of
interest in someone else's pain or discomfort. This is one of the
main reasons psychopaths are so potentially dangerous: they
can be cruel and callous because they aren't put off, as a normal
person would be, by any sympathy for their victims' suffering.
Lack of empathy allows a psychopathic murderer to kill cold-
bloodedly; but it may also allow a non-violent psychopath to
trick aged parents out of their savings without remorse, for
example, or to not hesitate before crushing a business
competitor. As Hare has pointed out in his book Snakes in Suits, the modern
capitalist world of business, which in many ways is geared
towards rewarding ruthless behaviour, often allows functional
psychopaths to rise in the ranks.
In fact, several psychopathic traits are prized in modern culture,
says Hare:
"We live in a 'camouflage society'...in which some psychopathic
traits - egocentricity, lack of concern for others, superficiality,
style over substance, being 'cool', manipulativeness and so forth
- increasingly are tolerated and even valued."
Conning, manipulative, deceitful
Because psychopaths lack empathy, it's easy for them to view
other people as mere objects to use for their personal
gratification, and they have no qualms about lying and
manipulating to get what they want. Lying and conning comes
easily to them too, because they don't feel the shame and anxiety
about getting caught out most of us would when being deceitful.
Lying is also helpful in creating what psychopathy pioneer
Harvey Cleckley termed the "mask of sanity" that allows the
psychopath to pass as normal.
Some psychopaths are past masters at spinning elaborate tales
about themselves; others are less sophisticated and lie clumsily.
When they do get caught out in a lie, however, they're most
unlikely to own up to it, will brush it off and continue with new
avenues of deception.
Shallow emotions
Psychopaths don't only lack empathy - they lack normal
emotional range and depth. They may feel some emotion, but
only very superficially. Hare has described the emotions that
psychopaths do feel as "proto-emotions: primitive responses to
immediate needs".
They may appear stony and cold emotionally, but they also often
feign emotions by observing normal people's responses, as part
of the mask they show to the world. They learn how to imitate
emotional reactions, although some are better at this than others,
and they do slip up. For example, they may learn how to use
stock phrases of condolence when someone dies, but on their
lips these can sound oddly mechanical. Sometimes they misread
situations and respond inappropriately, perhaps with a joke when
a partner is trying to tell them something heartfelt.
Psychopaths may have sudden, brief emotional flare-ups,
particularly of one emotion: rage. They can become explosively,
violently angry if they don't get their way or feel they have been
insulted or not treated with the respect they invariably believe
they deserve. These outbursts tend to be short-lived however,
and, once over, the psychopath will not appreciate how much his
behaviour might have upset those around him, and expects
others to "get over it".
Superficial charm
Psychopaths can be highly charming and persuasive, and smooth
talkers. Many come across as confident, dominant personalities,
even leaders (history is littered with psychopathic dictators).
Their charm can be very effective in attracting people initially,
and this includes romantic and sexual attraction. Most
psychopaths are men, and those who become romantically
involved with them, primarily women, frequently become their
victims.
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Psychopaths tend to have very high opinions of themselves, and
think themselves better than others. This further allows them to
feel justified in using and manipulating people. Their inflated
self-worth is coupled with a strong sense of entitlement to
money, status symbols, or whatever they feel is owing to them.
Grandiosity may come across in some psychopathsas obviously
boastful, others may exaggerate their previous accomplishments
and abilities, or their future prospects of success.
Prone to boredom; thrill-seeking
Psychopaths have a low tolerance for boredom and an excessive
need for excitement and stimulation, in part because they don't
feel emotions, including fear, intensely. This often leads to risk-
taking and law-breaking; they may be drawn to take part in
dangerous sports and activities, and have a high rate of drug
abuse.
Impulsivity and irresponsibility
Psychopaths often act on the spur of the moment with little
concern for the consequences of their actions. They often quit
work with no alternative employment options, or suddenly end
relationships, and tend to have histories of many job changes
and multiple short romantic connections; they may have been
married several times.
This is coupled with not taking responsibility for their behaviour;
on the contrary, they will blame others when things go wrong.
True psychopaths are rare, and would be likely to possess
several of the characteristics mentioned here (although not
necessarily all). Some people may have psychopathic
tendencies, or could be placed somewhere on the scale between
normal and psychopath. source- Health24 |
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